Saturday, January 14, 2017

Submission #1 - Formal Email: Self Introduction

To: Brad Blackstone
From: Tan Jia Le
Date: 14th January 2017
Subject: Self Introduction

Dear Mr. Blackstone,

I am currently an undergraduate pursuing a Bachelor's degree in Hospitality Business with Honours at Singapore Institute of Technology. I previously pursued a diploma in Hotel & Leisure Facilities Management in Singapore Polytechnic. In the few years of studies within the hospitality industry, I have had many opportunities and exposure during my industry attachments within two hotel organisations: Marina Bay Sands and Furama Hotels International.

Prior to university life, I was engaged in two years of National Service. From being a recruit to moving up ranks to an officer, I was exposed to endless obstacles, events and activities. Through these experiences, I managed to pick up essential soft skills that were practical in adulthood, one of which was communication skills.

Communication is the key when it comes to partnership, teamwork, or even the slightest interaction between two individuals. I believe that listening and understanding before taking actions is necessary in all communication, and that information passed on must be clear and concise. In every interaction I participated in, I would always try to be attentive, grasping the entire situation before making a comment or taking any action.

However, due to the fast-paced personality I possess, I tend to lack the patience to get to the end of the conversation if it prolongs. At times even, I would jump-the-gun once I think I had understood the gist of the situation.

Thank you for allowing me to share with you more about myself. I hope this helps you to understand a little more about me.

Warmest regards,
Tan Jia Le
15SHB081D

5 comments:

  1. As a fellow Officer of the Singapore Armed Forces, I totally relate to your post. Serving 2 years in the army is not any easy feat, especially when life in there was so fast-paced. Nevertheless, these experiences helped shaped us in our adulthood. Thanks for sharing. Now go find your true South.

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  2. Dear Jia Le,

    Thank you for this initial post, the formal letter. It is concise and rather informative. You mention, for example, that you have experience in the hospitality business field, and that you studied a related field in the polytechnic. You give greater detail in your discussion of the value you have for communication as you weave a bit about your personality in with your approach to conversations.

    What might strengthen the content of this letter would be for you to elaborate more. Give specific examples, for instance, of what you have alluded to, be that a skill you picked up during national service due to an obstacle confronted or some challenge you faced in the workplace because you were lacking patience in conversing with someone.

    Do you see what I'm getting at? Your letter's direction would be more clearly articulated with more concrete details. You want the reader to truly understand where you're headed and what your aims are, right?
    Paint us a picture then, as bright as your blog's wallpaper. I'd like to get a visual for what you allude to, some descriptive morsel.

    My other suggestions on improving this letter are as follows:

    1. Previously pursued a diploma in Hotel & Leisure Facilities Management in Singapore Polytechnic.
    >>>
    (missing subject)

    2. ... with certain hotel organisations such as, Marina Bay Sands and Furama Hotels International.
    >>> (expression issue)
    within two hotel organisations: Marina Bay Sands and Furama Hotels International.

    3. From a recruit, moving up ranks to an officer....
    >>> (expression)
    From being a recruit to moving up ranks to an officer,

    4. One of which, was communication skills.
    >>>
    (sentence structure / sentence fragment error)
    ?

    5. the slightest interactive
    >>>
    huh?

    6. In every interaction I participated in, I would always try to be attentive, grasping the entire situation before making a comment or taking any action.
    >>>
    (verb tense error)

    7. fast-paced personality
    >>>
    huh? explain, with an anecdote...

    8. I possessed
    >>>
    (verb tense: why past?)

    9. At times even, I would jump-the-gun once I think I had understood the gist of the situation.
    >>>
    (verb tense: Why past tense? Illustrate!)

    10. Warmest Regards,
    >>>
    (capitalization: You only need to capitalize the first word of a close.)

    See http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000051.htm

    This letter's content and expression have great potential, Jia Le, but you need to slow the game down a bit, be more deliberate, and provide more detail. I look forward to reading more!

    Best wishes,

    Brad

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  3. p.s. I'm not sure if the red on black is the most effective template.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear Jia Le, thank you for sharing your experiences. I totally agree with you that active listening is key to an effective communication. Hope to see more of your posts soon.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Jiale,

    You illustrated great points on effective communication and I believe the industry attachment must have trained you well.


    The aspects of having communication skills is vital especially being an officer because you would need to convey messages in detail to your men.

    Patience is not just about waiting, it is about how you act while waiting. In my opinion, I feel that you're courteous, understanding and knows when to do the right thing at the right time.

    I look forward to reading more of your posts.

    ReplyDelete